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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27482173">Off A Surfboard, Into Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/destielwithashotgun/pseuds/destielwithashotgun'>destielwithashotgun</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Outer Banks (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Brain Injury, Epilepsy, F/M, JJ deserves nice things, Kiara loves these two idiots, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Seizures, Vomit, adhd JJ, also, also i'm finally writing romace, autistic pope, i will obviously include jj and heyward, obviously, so yay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:20:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,658</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27482173</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/destielwithashotgun/pseuds/destielwithashotgun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>JJ can admit that Kiara is gorgeous. (He also might admit that Pope is gorgeous as well, if he gets drunk enough). But they clearly have eyes only for each other, not for a brain damaged kid with seizures and trauma and a whole bunch of other baggage. Still, sometimes he dreams. </p><p>Another epileptic JJ fic, this time complete with the start of a love story.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Heyward &amp; JJ (Outer Banks), JJ &amp; John B. Routledge, JJ/Kiara/Pope (Outer Banks), Mrs Heyward &amp; JJ (Outer Banks)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Off A Surfboard, Into Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey yall. I'm pretty excited to bring you this story because, as much as I love putting JJ through rough times, he also needs some love. It's been a hot second, I broke my wrist and also got covid (wear your masks kids, covid is a bitch), but I'm good now, and I'm ready to write.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>JJ can admit that Kiara? She's fucking gorgeous. All smooth skin and dark eyes and, well, perfect everything. Her hair falls in waves, and it's like fucking fate, isn't it? JJ has always belonged to the waves. Except nothing but his heart will ever belong to Kiara, not with the way she looks at Pope. </p><p>JJ can also maybe admit (if he gets drunk enough) that Pope is gorgeous as well. His quirks make him interesting, and sometimes JJ just wants to grab him and slide his fingers through Pope's dark curls while the other boy tells JJ that his scars are not a dealbreaker. It will never happen, but sometimes JJ dreams. </p><p>It's a big fear of his though, his scars. They're ugly, raised skin that's anything but smooth. Some are new, and some have been burned into his skin since he was a kid. He is the exact opposite of Kiara and Pope, who are clean slates. Most of the time JJ also wants to wipe himself clean from his history. Sometimes, if things get really dark, he wishes his dad had hit him just a little harder so that he wouldn't remember. </p><p>Pope looks at Kiara like the stars would go out without her. Kiara looks at Pope like he is the only thing anchoring her to the Earth. Maybe they think that JJ doesn't notice. Maybe they don't know they're doing it. But JJ see's, and he longs for something like that. He knows though, that nobody will ever look at him like that. </p><p>Sometimes, it's ok. He has a family now (even though he wouldn't exactly consider Pope family the way he does Mr. and Mrs. Heyward. He thinks about his lips too much for that.) <br/>He's never actually had a family, not a real one. Not parents who are careful around him, but refuse to treat him like he will break. Not parents who force him into a winter coat when it's cold out, because they care that much. And he's also never had a dad like Heyward.</p><p>Heyward isn't truly his dad though, not really (even though JJ might wish at night that he was.) Heyward is better than a dad though. Heyward holds JJ up from falling headfirst into the toilet when he throws up. He takes off his own jacket to put under JJ's head when he's seizing. He offers JJ dinner every single night. It's something that took some getting used to at first. </p><p>"You're an idiot," Heyward had said when JJ forgot to take his pills. They had spent ages talking about his meds, if JJ wanted to try Adderall, if he felt ok when he mixed seizure pills with other pills. Heyward actually cared, which was strange. </p><p>"Love, let me get you a lunch before you go," Mrs. Heyward said to him when he was late to work. Work, that got fed up when he had a single seizure in the back room and had to go home for the rest of the day. "I'll sue them," Mrs. Heyward had declared with all the conviction in her body when JJ sleepily told her what had happened. He had drifted off soon after, but from what he could tell, Heyward was equally as furious. </p><p>And now, JJ had...friends? He had Pope, who was painfully awkward for a little bit before he opened up to JJ. He could ramble on for hours about dead bodies, which was a bit of a weird fixation, and yet JJ had no problem listening. Not when Pope was talking with so much passion, so much excitement. </p><p>Kiara, while beautiful, was also incredibly smart. She could rant about sea turtles and saving the ocean for as long as JJ and Pope could listen (spoiler alert, they were so in love with her that it was forever.) She was also hilarious, and rich, which JJ never expected. She never treated him and Pope like they were somehow beneath her for being poor, for being a foster kid. </p><p>John B was a nice guy. More often then not he was hanging out with his girlfriend Sarah, who JJ also didn't have a problem with. Whereas Pope was sometimes too uptight and Kie was too focused (something JJ could not do), John B was good to balance it out. JJ liked hanging out with him when he needed a break from being hopelessly in love with two people who would never love him back. </p><p>JJ had never truly had friends before. </p><p>(He never admitted to them that he followed them around like together, they were the North Star). </p><p>Sometimes he wondered if Heyward knew. The man often looked at him like he could see straight into JJ's soul, which was unnerving to say the least. But he also smiled with just the corner of his mouth, only for JJ when he could tell the kid was anxious. </p><p>At night, when he was lying in bed on top of the covers, JJ might stare at the window and imagine. Maybe the looks that Pope and Kiara gave him were more than he thought they were. Maybe they would extend their hearts to him as well, though his own was guarded. The stars would wink back at him, like he was right. JJ turned away from the stars. </p><p>His seizures were getting fewer and farther between. The Heywards didn't always watch him like he might fall down foaming at the mouth. Pope, with bright smiles and flapping hands, would sometimes ask him if he was sure he was ok. He would beam when JJ assured him that he was fine. JJ had to hide his own dopey smile, ashamed. </p><p>"So you're coming surfing with us tomorrow?" Kiara asked him one day. JJ shrugged, unaware they were even making plans. </p><p>"If you want me to come," he said. </p><p>Kie scoffed, and grabbed Pope's hand. "Obviously we want you to come," she said. "Why wouldn't we? John B's gonna be there for a little bit before he goes off to hang out with Sarah, again, so it'll be just us three." </p><p>JJ looked at Pope, who's eyes were fixed on the bed they were sitting on. Still, his smile was wide and honest. </p><p>"Ok, I'll come," he said. He didn't exactly want to be a third wheel, but he also took every single chance he could to be with them. Pope and Kiara exchanged a look that he couldn't decipher. </p><p>(Don't think about it too much, JJ told himself. They're not tired of being around you.) </p><p>The very next day was bright and beautiful, like the sun was shining just for the three of them. (Four of them if you count John B, but JJ didn't do that. He wasn't in love with John B). The light streaming through JJ's window was what woke him up, though he rolled over and hid his face. The center of his forehead throbbed, and the sun wasn't making it any better. </p><p>There was a knock on his door, which was quickly opened because nobody in this goddamn house knew what patience was. It was Kiara, who was already dressed in her swimsuit and also looking amazing. JJ hid under the covers. </p><p>"What are you doing?" she asked. "We're leaving in like, ten minutes." Pope materialized behind her, shirtless. JJ fought for his right to breathe properly. </p><p>Pope smiled that amazing, gorgeous smile, and stepped through the door to pull the covers off JJ. </p><p>"Gee, thanks for letting me sleep so long," JJ grumbled. His head throbbed, but he pushed it to the side in favor of trying to stare at the other two without getting caught. Pope tossed him his swim shorts, one of the only things he had taken from his house when he moved in with the Heywards. </p><p>"Excuse you," Kie said. </p><p>"Who said it was our job to make sure you're up on time?" Pope asked. JJ didn't have an answer, just gestured for the other two to leave so he could get dressed. He tried not to look at their ass's when they walked away. </p><p>Mrs. Heyward was waiting for him downstairs, holding a piece of toast. "They're already getting their boards sweetheart," she said. "I've also packed a cooler for you guys for lunch." She paused as JJ took the toast out of her hand, narrowing her eyes. Suddenly, her hand was against his forehead. "Are you feeling alright JJ?" </p><p>JJ shook her off, giving her a little half smile. He really did feel fine, other than the headache, and he told her that. (Except* for the headache part). She didn't look like she was convinced, and JJ was not about to lose a day with Pope and Kiara over a stupid headache that was already going away. Heyward walked into the room, and JJ seized his chance. </p><p>While he was worried for JJ, Heyward was much less of a mother hen when it came to the kids he took care of. </p><p>"Heyward, tell her I'm fine," JJ said. Heyward raised his eyebrows, but he looked JJ up and down. </p><p>"You don't have any symptoms of anything?" He asked. JJ shook his head, biting into his toast to prove it. Heyward looked directly into his eyes. Somehow, he could always tell when JJ was lying. Good thing JJ wasn't lying this time. </p><p>"He's fine hun," Heyward told his wife. Mrs. Heyward sighed, but waved a finger at JJ. </p><p>"Have fun," she said. "And if I find out you were lying, you're grounded." JJ rolled his eyes, but swallowed his toast and kissed her on the cheek as he left. </p><p>John B picked them up in his shitty van, the windows rolled down so that the wind caught in JJ's hair. Their boards were strapped to the top, and Kiara and Pope rode next to each other in the back of the car. Their legs were pressed against each other. JJ looked away. </p><p>The water was deep blue and sparkling when they got to their spot. Kiara grinned, turning to look at JJ. "Your eyes match the water," she told him. JJ tried to ignore the way he felt when he heard that. Then he had to ignore the way his stomach fizzed when Pope stared at the ocean, and then turned to look JJ directly in the eye. JJ swallowed heavily, and turned away to get his board. </p><p>"Perfect conditions," John B said as he pulled his own board off the van. "Well, almost." </p><p>"What could possibly be more perfect than this?" Pope asked incredulously. </p><p>"Storms," John B said, grinning wildly. "This is pretty, but you don't know real excitement until you're surfing the swell of a hurricane." </p><p>"So you're an adrenaline junkie," JJ said. He had surfed in storms before, like the stormy water could wash away his troubles. "Nice." John B shot him a smile and they bumped fists while Kiara and Pope rolled their eyes. Once again, JJ thought about how amazing it was to have real friends. </p><p>"Last one in has to..." Kiara started, and then couldn't even finish the sentence. JJ and John B were already running to the water, eager to escape whatever Kiara would make them do if they were last in. "Hey!" She yelled, but took off after them, kicking her shoes in the sand as she went. </p><p>They never did find out what she would make them do, because even though Pope was last, all Kiara responded with was a kiss. JJ ducked under the water to avoid seeing it. The salt burned his eyes before he got used to it, only surfacing when he was sure it was safe. </p><p>"Alright," John B said. "Let's see who can catch the first wave." </p><p>It was JJ who was up first, snapping his board at the top of the wave. Pope and Kiara cheered him on, while John B attempted to drop in on his wave. JJ laughed, the sun in his hair and salt on his face. He forgot about his headache when he saw the light on Kie's skin and the smile on Pope's face. </p><p>They surfed for a long time before they ate. John B was close behind, but JJ caught more waves than any of them. </p><p>"How did you get so good?" Kie asked, laughing as she ran her fingers through her hair. </p><p>"I just practiced a lot," JJ responded. </p><p>(Don't think about why you were always out here, don't think about how you had nothing else to do. Don't remember the night you spent in the boneyard because you couldn't walk, don't remember the way the salt used to sting the cuts on your skin). </p><p>JJ smiled bright, and he pushed the memories out of his head. </p><p>Mrs. Heyward packed them sandwhiches and grapes and soda (no beer. JJ tried not to be disappointed.) They ate on the sand, and then they ate in the grass when John B kept accidentallly flinging sand in everyone's food. JJ ate around the grittiness, unable to waste food. </p><p>John B's phone chimed, and he grinned, toweling his hair off. "That's Sarah," he said. "See you all later." And then he was gone, taking the van so the rest of them had to walk home. </p><p>There was a quiet pause in which the only thing you could hear was the sound of the waves breaking against the shore. Kie made a face, spitting out her last bite of sandwhich and coughing. "I'm gonna kill John B," she said darkly. Pope laughed, offering the last of his sandwhich to her. She took it gratefully. </p><p>"Should we keep surfing?" JJ asked. Nobody disagreed with him and he stood, grateful to stop third wheeling during lunch. If he was out on the waves, he could forget everything else. </p><p>This time, the sun was a little too bright against the water. JJ rubbed his eyes, looking down at the sand. Maybe he should have had more water, he thought as he felt the ground move underneath him. It ended quickly though, and JJ sighed as Kie and Pope caught up to him. They were holding hands. Something turned in JJ's stomach, and he quickly waded into the water. </p><p>"No way!" Kie yelled suddenly. "I'm not letting you get the first wave again!" Suddenly she was chasing him, and everything felt solid again. Pope was close behind him. </p><p>(Don't think about how the sun reflects against his dark skin, don't look at the golden color of Kie's eyes in the sun, don't let Pope smile at you again so that your knee's are too weak to surf.) </p><p>They were fucking gorgeous in the water. All sharp lines and soft curves, somehow the same. JJ tried not to stare. (He definitely failed a little bit). </p><p>For a second, he sat still on his board as Kie and Pope raced for a wave. The gentle bobbing of his surfboard made him feel a little nauseous, and he swallowed reflexively. Then he swallowed again, pushing back against the sound of the ocean that had somehow gotten a lot louder in his head. Swallowing for a third time, JJ finally realized what was happening. </p><p>"Idiot," he hissed to himself. He though he was getting better at identifying his aura's, but apparently he was too fucking lovesick to notice. Heyward was going to kill him when he got back...if he got back. </p><p>All at once, he realized he was on a surfboard in the ocean, far away from the shore. Pope and Kie were practically miles away, or at least that was what they seemed like. They were completely lost in each other, JJ just a passing thought in the sea. His hands tightened reflexively on the surfboard. </p><p>"Kie!" he tried yelling. His voice was weak, rough. "Pope!" He was going under. He couldn't tell if it was the waves crashing into him or the feeling of being knocked around from a seizure. He tried to take a deep breath, tried to calm down, and found he couldn't. It was like his chest was tightening. The last thing he heard before the world tipped sideways, was a scream. <br/>                                                                                                         ..................................................</p><p>The sand was somehow the first thing he noticed. It was rough against his skin when he woke up, sticking against his scars. There were two blurry figures above him, and they were defintely saying something. Not that JJ could really hear. He parted his lips to say something, to reassure, except what came out was "Where's my board?"</p><p>Kie laughed above him, nearly hysterical. Her long hair was plastered to her forehead, and she made no attempt to brush it away. "It's fine," she said. "It's how we got you in." Suddenly, as JJ's vision cleared, her expression changed. She looked mad </p><p>"You idiot," she said. "What the hell were you thinking?" JJ didn't know exactly what she was talking about. </p><p>"What?" he asked. (He was pretty sure he had said something, at least.) </p><p>Now it was Pope's turn to look furious, but if JJ let himself get lost in the other boys eyes, all he could see was fear. "You fell right off your surfboard!" Pope exclaimed. He voice was shaking. "Kie and I were so far away, and suddenly you were just in the ocean and you weren't coming up! We had to drag you out of the water, and you were already seizing. We could barely keep you on the surfboard to get you back on the beach!" </p><p>His voice broke on the last word. Kie was wearing a matching expression, clearly horrified. JJ wasn't exactly sure what he was doing, but he reached out and tried to find their hands. They gripped back tightly, and JJ leaned back and closed his eyes. He was still nauseous, but the feeling was fading. </p><p>"I'm sorry," he said. "I wasn't thinking." </p><p>"Damn right you weren't thinking," Pope said, sounding exactly like his dad. JJ forced that comparison out of his mind when Pope suddenly surged forward and kissed him. JJ recoiled in shock, but Pope didn't pull away. His lips were chapped, but JJ put at hand on the back of his neck and pulled him closer. </p><p>Kissing Pope was like winter. It was the wind in his face. It was slipping on ice and falling, and then falling more and more and tumbling straight into love. Kissing Pope was like JJ had been buried in the snow, and Pope was the thing pulling him out. </p><p>JJ hated to pull apart, but suddenly the nausea was rising in his throat again. He shoved Pope away and flung himself to the side, gagging on his knees as he vomited in the sand. Pope recoiled, looking horrified. </p><p>"Don't worry," JJ said with a grin. He paused to heave again. "It's not you." Pope tried to smile back. </p><p>"Well I was going to kiss you as well," Kie said, "but I've decided to wait until after you've brushed your teeth." JJ, no longer puking, turned to look at her. He hated to think of how vulnerable he looked at the moment, and yet it was almost exhilerating. He had never bared his soul to anyone before. </p><p>"You too?" He asked. Kie smiled, laughing in relief. </p><p>"Yes, me too. You idiot, we've been wanting this for months," she replied. JJ didn't exactly know what to say to that. </p><p>"Oh," he said. </p><p>"Yeah, oh," Pope said. "So if you're going to nearly die again anytime soon, please tell us so we can keep you alive." His own voice was tight with tension, and JJ thouht about kissing him again. Maybe not the best idea after vomiting his lunch up. </p><p>"You know I'm in love with you both," he said instead. It was a scary thing to admit. </p><p>"We know," Kie responded. "We were waiting for you to tell us." </p><p>JJ gaped at her. "You knew?? This whole time, you knew and you didn't say anything?" </p><p>"We weren't going to push you into anything," Pope added. JJ stared at him with wide eyes. </p><p>"Please stop saying incredibly sexy things," he told Pope. "I am not afraid to kiss you after throwing up." Pope's face was funny enough that JJ forgot he was lying uselessly in the sand, and that he still needed to get up. </p><p>"We should go home," Kie said like she was reading his mind. God, he was so in love with her. </p><p>JJ groaned when they helped him stand, but he had to admit that having their arms around him was nice. Pope carried his board in his other hand as they both helped him walk back home. The entire time, JJ was cursing John B for leaving and forcing them to walk. </p><p>(Of course, he also had to thank John B, because he doubted any love confessions would have happened if the other boy had been there). </p><p>"You can't tell our parents," Pope said. "They won't allow you to stay with us. And we aren't letting you get taken to the mainland, not after we just got you." </p><p>JJ froze, making the other two stumble. He could see their house in the distance. "Oh crap," he said. "I am so grounded." </p><p>(Five minutes later, the whole neighborhood got the hear Mr and Mrs. Heyward chew JJ out for leaving the house). JJ couldn't even curse the seizure, not when it had brought him to something so amazing. </p><p>(Just kidding. He fucking hated epilepsy). </p><p>                                                                                                                  ..................................</p><p>(Kissing Kie was like playing with fire. Heat rushed through JJ as they gasped, colliding with the force of two stars. It was an explosion, sucking JJ into a black hole and forcing him down, down, down. Kissing Kie was like burning. Kissing Kie was like falling headfirst into the fire and coming out the other side. Kissing Kie was like letting the flames lick at your skin because you need to feel the burns. Kissing Kie).</p>
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